I am starting this blog to record my pursuit of happiness that most of the time eludes me. I am unhappy within myself and that in turn makes me unhappy in other aspects of my life. Every time I have done something wrong or annoying I have shouted at myself, saying I'm stupid, I can't do anything right , don't laugh or sing it's annoying. i so want to love myself, I want to be happy for the sake of making my boyfriend happy, to stop making him worry about me every time I'm upset. I want to be healthy, to stop eating junk all the time,exercise more, save more and buy less, stop getting walked over because I'm a nice person and have no back bone, spend more time with family and friends than at home by myself. most of all i want to have more confidence more self-esteem more happiness.